Girl crazy

1 12 2009

So upcoming deep and moving reflections on my growth as a person, blah blah, still to come.

Can we just talk about something for a second here?

So first of all, if you got a random text message from your ex asking how things were…your ex who:

-is kind of crazy

-you never talk to

-or run into

-are not friends with and

-with whom you have nothing in common

…would you respond back?

How about if you had SEEN your ex – and her fiancee – while they were visiting your parents at your house only 3 weeks ago and neither of them had spoken a word to you and barely acknowledged your presence?

Which is whatever, right? I mean it wasn’t awkward for you for numerous reasons including that they were visiting your house, that you broke up with her, and that her fiancee is ugly as sin.

But seriously, would you respond to the text message?

Then this morning I get another text message from her telling me our friend C is “going through some stuff” and asking me if I’m available to hang out. Since C had, like an autonomous person, contacted me on his own, I spared myself the headache of returning my ex’s message.

Consider, then, Exhibit B, a Facebook chat conversation from literally 2 seconds ago, annotated (<<<like so!) for your convenience, after the jump:

8:13pm B

did ya get the text?

8:13pm DonBito


8:13pm B

excellent. <<<if only it were that simple.

8:14pm B

anyhoo, i know how you don’t like to communicate, but i wanted to check to see if you were avail. for chisel

cause i’m in the shit right now, so… it might be easier for him to lean on you.<<<i don’t care what the shit is.

8:16pm B

or not… did i do something?<<<this is because i didn’t ask what the shit was, isn’t it?

8:17pm DonBito


8:17pm B

wait, did you get all that?

i typed a butt load of crap.

8:17pm DonBito

i only got “anyhoo, i know how you don’t like to communicate, but i wanted to check to see if you were avail. for chisel

cause i’m in the shit right now, so… it might be easier for him to lean on you.”

8:18pm B

oh ok

yes, that is it

so… any response?

i have not talked to C in forever

but i know how he gets when things get low, and he needs someone

8:18pm DonBito

i guess i just didnt know why YOU were contacting me about it

8:19pm B

i contacted you because C contacted me after trying to contact you. he wanted to talk to you but you werent around. then he turned to me. but… i’m kind of in the shit.<<<there’s the shit again.

8:19pm DonBito

okay well i texted him back and told him to give me a call after work

8:20pm B

i dont really understand why it bothers you that i contacted you. we didn’t really decide not to talk. i’m just looking out for my friend, but i’m not as available as i would like to be.

8:21pm DonBito

it doesnt bother me<<<it kind of does.

8:21pm B

you said YOU in caps, so i thought you were angry.<<<it is always best to read emotion into facebook chat phrasing.

hey, are we cool?

8:21pm DonBito


8:22pm B


so… this is weird, but i’m going for it<<<here it comes.

how is your health?<<<huh?

8:22pm DonBito


8:22pm B

ok, do you have hypertension still?<<<what in the hell

8:22pm DonBito

idk, why?

8:23pm B

do you still make sounds in your sleep?

is your monthly gift irregular?<<<this conversation has taken an unfortunate turn.

do i sound like a tv ad for some drug?

8:23pm DonBito


8:23pm B


listie, basically i have recently learned a lot about pcos for a variety of reasons.<<<no, THIS is because i didn’t ask what the shit is…

do you know it?

8:24pm DonBito


8:24pm B

polycystic ovarian syndrome.

it is some whacked out disorder that affects a bunch of women.<<<i’ gonna make a leap and say this is the shit

please get checked for it

and if your period is irregular, get checked soon?<<<for the love of god, why.


Now…would you text her back?




4 responses

1 12 2009
Bad Fairy

Glad you annotated the crazy. I left my girl-to-english dictionary in sellersville.

the answer is NO!

1 12 2009

haha Bad Fairy! you’re my very first comment! yay.

1 12 2009

Hey! You do need to go they gyn which a fly afroed angel has been telling you for a while.But your puss is no longer her business.

1 12 2009

…so glad you took over responsibility for it.

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